Sunday, October 9, 2016

Understanding the need of personal space.


One of the things I remember from learning Psychology of Architecture is that each person has their own personal space and one's need of personal space may not be as much as other's. The difference in how much space is needed for each individuals may vary based on each person's unique background and personal experience.

Growing up without any siblings around, I personally think I need more personal space than other people. I enjoy my time alone even since I was a kid. I like to be in my room doing stuff, having fun by myself. That doesn't mean I don't like people though. I love my family, my close friends, and I like to spend a lot of time with them. But what I enjoy the most is when I am in my room, alone, reading books, or drawing, painting, doing stuff. Silence doesn't bother me. 
Like the sentence Hozier puts to open his song, To Be Alone;

"Never feel too good in crowds, with folks around"

I am not good at communicating with others. I find it hard to make a decent conversation and to keep it going. I usually don't know what to say. I think I am the kind of person that think too much when talking to someone new. I always think about what I'm going to say. "Is it okay to ask that?" or "is it appropriate?" which often leads to "yeah I probably shouldn't say that." and then awkward silence occurs as we try to find something else to say. I'm actually okay with the silence, but knowing that the other person may not feel the same is what makes it awkward. 

For me, as I get more comfortable to other people, I will also be more comfortable to enjoy the silence with them without trying to find anything to say. I think that's goals; to be alone, to appreciate each other's space, even when we're together. But not all people have the same opinion as me so there can be a little misunderstanding. But I also aware that I have to make an effort, not always ask for an understanding. I'm still working on it.

I know this post sounds like an excuse for my flaws but I think knowing that each person has different need of personal space is important, so we don't be so quick to judge and can be more understanding to one another.

"It feels good, girl, it feels good
Oh to be alone with you"

Hear Hozier's To Be Alone here. It's such a beautiful song with so much emotions.


  1. Do u realize there is silence moment when we hang around? I do realize it, but somehow it didnt bother me anyway. wkwk indeed we need personal space. Btw, ini curhatan yg terpendam ya buk?

    1. That's why we get along so well....
      intinya sih kadang beberapa dari kita butuh waktu tenang sendiri tanpa komunikasi with other people and....... that's okay.